The following is a Thrive Guide on ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) tailored for the Emotional Wellness category. This guide helps users calculate their ACE score and take the first steps toward emotional healing and resilience.
Thrive Guide: Know Your ACE Score – Heal Your Emotional Health
Goal:
Learn your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score, understand what it means, and begin healing the emotional effects with supportive, science-backed steps.
What is an ACE Score?
ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. These are potentially traumatic events that occur before the age of 18, including:
- Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
- Physical or emotional neglect
- Household dysfunction (e.g., domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, incarceration, divorce)
Each “yes” answer equals 1 point on your ACE score. The higher your score, the greater the risk of long-term emotional and physical health effects—but healing is possible, and the score is not your destiny.
Step 1: Calculate Your ACE Score
Instructions: Answer the following 10 questions. For each “Yes,” give yourself 1 point.
- Did a parent or adult in the household often swear at you, insult you, or put you down?
- Did a parent or adult often push, grab, slap, or throw something at you?
- Did an adult or older person ever touch you sexually or try to?
- Did you often feel that no one in your family loved or supported you?
- Did you often not have enough to eat, or wear dirty clothes, or feel unprotected?
- Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
- Was your mother or stepmother often pushed, slapped, or physically hurt?
- Did someone in your household have a substance abuse problem?
- Was anyone in your household depressed, mentally ill, or suicidal?
- Did someone in your home go to prison?
Total Score: 0–10
- 0–3: Low ACE exposure
- 4 or more: High ACE exposure – potential increased risk for health issues, but resilience and healing are very possible
Step 2: Understand What Your Score Means
- A high ACE score is common—about 1 in 6 people have a score of 4 or more.
- High ACEs can affect emotional regulation, self-worth, relationships, stress response, and even physical health.
- ACEs are not a diagnosis. They are a guidepost that can help you understand patterns, triggers, and healing opportunities.
Step 3: Start Your Healing Process
1. Build Emotional Safety & Self-Awareness
- Practice self-compassion and recognize that your past doesn’t define your worth.
- Start a daily journaling or reflection practice to identify emotions, triggers, and responses.
2. Strengthen Your Nervous System
- Learn breathwork and somatic techniques to regulate your stress response (e.g., box breathing, vagal toning, cold exposure).
- Try coherent breathing for 5–10 minutes/day to downshift your nervous system.
3. Connect with Safe Relationships
- Emotional healing happens in connection. Invest in trustworthy relationships, support groups, or trauma-informed therapy.
- Seek professional help when needed – trauma-informed therapy, EMDR, or somatic experiencing can be life-changing.
4. Create Predictability and Routine
- People with high ACEs often thrive with daily structure, rituals, and a sense of control.
- Use tools like a self-care planner to bring intention to each day.
5. Nourish Your Body and Mind
- Focus on whole, anti-inflammatory foods, hydration, and good sleep.
- Move your body regularly with gentle exercise, yoga, or walking to help release stored tension.
Step 4: Cultivate Resilience
Even with a high ACE score, many people go on to live healthy, joyful, connected lives.
Build your resilience toolkit:
- Mindfulness
- Positive self-talk
- Healthy boundaries
- Gratitude practices
- Purposeful living
- Nature connection
- Creative expression
Final Words:
Your ACE score reflects the past, not your potential. Healing is not linear, but with awareness and support, it’s always possible. You are not broken—you’re becoming.
